you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
