When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize