you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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