I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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