Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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