I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize