She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
