Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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