So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
