Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize