I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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