? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my shit smells like andre
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
