A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
