In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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