I'll bet she douches with gravy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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