So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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