problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Boobs speak an international language.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
