She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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