Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize