Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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