Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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