ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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