I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
