My pussy is not your playground.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
