I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
