# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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