Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize