I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
