You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Found the puke drawer
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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