Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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