i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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