it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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