My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
