I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
