Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
