I queefed so loud it echoed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.