New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?