All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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