I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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