it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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