as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
