you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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