Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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