Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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