Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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