Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize