I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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