is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
