Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
