alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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