I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
