So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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