Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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