thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize