They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hippo gnu deer
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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