well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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